Big day tomorrow!

Here we go, here we go!

Yesterday was a good day. We got the green light to move forward with a DOUBLE IUI! Not only that, but my follicles are looking good and we're ready to get this party started. 

A double IUI is literally two IUI treatments. As long as insurance approves the procedures and as long as your body cooperates- a double IUI is meant to help boost your chances in getting pregnant. This is a good thing. IUI has a lower success rate than IVF, so I am very excited that we get to do a double treatment. Dr. B was unsure at first because my body tends to overproduce follicles, but they put me on a lower dose of Follistim which helped keep the number of follicles at an appropriate level. 

My ultrasound was yesterday and it showed 4 mature follicles. There are follicles producing on the right side however, at a slower pace which means we most likely won't be able to use them. 

Physically I'm starting to feel a little more uncomfortable. My belly is big and a little tender. Other than that I am doing OK. Trying to keep calm and optimistic- a big difference from where I was at last winter. 

Tonight is my Ovidrel injection. This helps push the the egg out. 

Tomorrow is IUI #1. Friday is IUI #2.

At this point we hope and pray. I tell myself not to get my hopes up, but the closer we get to the procedure the more nervously excited I get. 

I want this. I really, really want this. Please let this be it. 

Wish us luck...we need it!

"There's no telling how many miles you have to run while chasing a dream." ~Anonymous

Here we go again...

Here we go....

I feel like we were just doing these injections. Our little break went faster than I thought, but here we are. Ready to start up another round. This round is different though. We've only done fresh and frozen IVF cycles. This round will be our first IUI. The chances of success aren't as high, but it buys us some time when it comes to medical benefits (which is a whole other post). My tubes have failed me in the past, but I have to believe that one will be strong enough to carry us through. Most important, Dr. B believes it could work, so I have to share that same belief...right?

I can picture it. I can picture a positive pregnancy test. I picture myself being pregnant again. I can picture baby #2. Months ago I lost this vision, but it's back and I want this more than words can express.

The chances are against me, I know this. But, I've won this battle in the past and I will win it again. Olivia is my proof that miracles exist.

So, here we go. Happy thoughts. My first injection is tonight.

Round #6, be good to us. Baby #2, we are so ready for you!

Let's do this.

My name is Mom.

My name is Mom. I hear my name called a couple hundred times a day...and it never gets old.

I always knew I wanted to be a Mom, but I never knew HOW MUCH I wanted to be a Mom. There's a difference.

I fell in love, married my best friend, owned a home and had a decent job- it was only natural that adding a child to the mix was the next adventure in life. It was suppose to be an easy task. It was a give in...right? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever, for a second think that we would struggle having children. After we had Olivia I kind of thought that baby #2 would be a breeze. In the back of my mind I thought a second child was owed to us after all of the struggle we had to go through with Olivia's pregnancy. Now I am at the point that I am losing track of the number of attempts, the medications, the loss. The heartache is a reminder that nothing in life is ever owed to you. Children aren't a "give in". You are not guaranteed a pregnancy, let alone a healthy pregnancy.

Today is Mother's Day. I know and understand the meaning of today. It's not to have your husband and children do chores around the house or make you a nice meal. It's not about the card, flowers or gift they give you. It's about being a Mom. It's a celebration of that gift of being able to BE someone else's Mom. It's about being the best Mom you know how to be. To appreciate the fact that you have a little someone to tuck in at night. To appreciate the fact that your house is a mess because your happy child likes to take every single toy they own out and not put it back. It's knowing how lucky you are to be able to celebrate this Hallmark holiday.

Though a great day for most, there are too many shedding tears of heartbreak, lost hope and the fear of what may never be. Mother's Day is a painful day for those who ache for the ultimate miracle in life. I've thought of these people all day. I pray for them every night. I know their tears as I've been down that same dark road before. To all of those whom are wishing and hoping today and every day, I hear you. I share that same dream of yours and I am wishing and hoping great things for you. Have faith. Your day will come. To all of the already existing Mommy's...be thankful. Hug your babies extra tight tonight.

I am thankful for every single day I have with my daughter. Her constant smile and laughter makes me feel like I am doing something right. Today just isn't about be me being her Mom, but it's about the two of us and the special bond that we share. This morning, as the two of us drove to breakfast we blasted, "Let it Go" and sang our hearts out. It was a complete out of pitch duet, but I couldn't think of anything other than how awesome it was that my little mini-me was sitting in the back seat singing with me, her Mom.

I am grateful for this day and every day after. I am blessed beyond belief that Olivia Hope is mine...all mine!

Olivia, you can call me Mom a million times a day and I will always answer. You can (and will) continue to bust through the bathroom door when you have something you feel is urgent to tell me. You can push me away after I tackle you to the ground giving you dozens of kisses and hugs, but I will always have a hug and kiss saved for you. You can ask for Daddy when you're mad at me, but I know you still love me anyway. You can think your Mom is a total goofball, but I will continue to stand on my head to make you laugh. You can stain your shirt 5 minutes after I take the tags off, chances are I bought a second just in case. You can pretend you didn't hear me when I said no more M&Ms, but I know you heard me, did you notice I snuck a few more too?

You are my greatest accomplishment. My pride and joy. Thank you for being you. I love every ounce of being your Mommy.

Happy Mother's Day to us!