Hello! Hello!
Feel free to join us at the Walk of Hope this Sunday! Below is our team link.
http://familybuilding.resolve.org/site/TR/WalkofHope2016/WalkofHope?px=2079023&pg=personal&fr_id=1310
Hope to see you there!
Monday, September 28, 2015
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
So what's the status?
I've been getting these questions a lot lately from people who follow my blog...what's going on? How's the fertility situation going? When is your next IVF round?
I wish I could answer the question, but unfortunately IVF is still on hold :(
Life has been crazy and I've been dealing with medical issues since June 14...not that I'm keeping track or anything. I've met with all sorts of doctors and unfortunately still searching for a diagnosis. I am frustrated beyond belief as I feel my own life has been put on hold.
The clock is ticking for Baby #2- I hear it tick in my head all day every day. As much as I want (and sometimes do) say it's not fair, I try my best to keep focus on my Olivia. Dr. Binor has always said that he thought something internally was going on with my body that wouldn't allow me to carry another child. After two years of him saying this, I know he was right.
Since early June I've had dozens and dozens of symptoms that tend to completely change after so many weeks. I've been dizzy, nauseous, fatigued, hot, cold, jittery, swollen, flushed, burning- and the list goes on. Once I think I've figured out triggers, the next day offers something different. As of right now I know it's positional, sensitive to hot/cold, caffeine and stress. So far I've met with Neurologists, Cardiologists, Electrophysiologist and an Endocrinologist. They've ruled out Lupus, MS, Carcinoid Syndrome, Adrenal failure, Brain tumor/swelling/aneurysm.
Next appointment is with an Immunologist to test for Mast Cell Activation. I've been doing my research and though I have some symptoms, I'm not confident that this is the answer. Perhaps I'm just being a negative nelly, but something tells me that the journey to getting a diagnosis is far out of reach at this point. The light at the end of the tunnel feels non existent.
Until I get a diagnosis- I will have to put IVF to the side. Definitely not what I want, but it's what's needed.
Thanks to those who have thought of me and checked in. The support means so much.
Cross your fingers and say a little prayer that I'll get some answers next week...eek!
I wish I could answer the question, but unfortunately IVF is still on hold :(
Life has been crazy and I've been dealing with medical issues since June 14...not that I'm keeping track or anything. I've met with all sorts of doctors and unfortunately still searching for a diagnosis. I am frustrated beyond belief as I feel my own life has been put on hold.
The clock is ticking for Baby #2- I hear it tick in my head all day every day. As much as I want (and sometimes do) say it's not fair, I try my best to keep focus on my Olivia. Dr. Binor has always said that he thought something internally was going on with my body that wouldn't allow me to carry another child. After two years of him saying this, I know he was right.
Since early June I've had dozens and dozens of symptoms that tend to completely change after so many weeks. I've been dizzy, nauseous, fatigued, hot, cold, jittery, swollen, flushed, burning- and the list goes on. Once I think I've figured out triggers, the next day offers something different. As of right now I know it's positional, sensitive to hot/cold, caffeine and stress. So far I've met with Neurologists, Cardiologists, Electrophysiologist and an Endocrinologist. They've ruled out Lupus, MS, Carcinoid Syndrome, Adrenal failure, Brain tumor/swelling/aneurysm.
Next appointment is with an Immunologist to test for Mast Cell Activation. I've been doing my research and though I have some symptoms, I'm not confident that this is the answer. Perhaps I'm just being a negative nelly, but something tells me that the journey to getting a diagnosis is far out of reach at this point. The light at the end of the tunnel feels non existent.
Until I get a diagnosis- I will have to put IVF to the side. Definitely not what I want, but it's what's needed.
Thanks to those who have thought of me and checked in. The support means so much.
Cross your fingers and say a little prayer that I'll get some answers next week...eek!
Friday, September 11, 2015
Never forget, always remember
September 11th.
September 11th is a day that every American gives a moment of silence, remembrance and gratitude. It's a day we all stop for a moment and thank God for the life we have been given. It's a day we are truly grateful for second chances. September 11th is a day that everyone is kind to one another and values their simple life. September 11th is the day out of the year that hatred no longer exists. It's a quiet day. Heartache is inevitable but it is also a day that brings peace, hope, wonder and silence. September 11th was by far the ugliest day that has ever existed on American soil, but it has brought strength and unity to a country that sometimes takes all that for granted. Our September 11 angels will never be forgotten as they have left all of us Americans the truest definition of love, life, strength and courage.
Don't let September 11th be the only day out of the year to be truly grateful for the little moments. I challenge all to be a little kinder to the every day stranger. Smile and say good morning to the person walking beside you. Thank a service member for the sacrifice they make for YOU. Buy a coffee for a total stranger. Compliment your loved one. Thank a friend for always listening. Enjoy the ability to take a walk...to come and go as you please.
Your life may not be perfect. Times may be tough. Health could be stronger. You might be a few dollars short this month. You might have hopes and dreams that seem out of reach. Your heart might be broken. Your faith may be shaken. Regardless of what you're going through, you're still standing. You've been blessed with another day to live freely and breathe the deepest of breaths.
There are simple gestures we can all do to make our world a little kinder. Thousands of Americans were robbed of their lives and we owe it to them to be thankful and grateful on all days, not just September 11th. September 11th is a day for remembrance. All other days are simply a gift. We are not owed tomorrow and next year is never a guarantee.
September 11th, never forget, always remember.
September 11th is a day that every American gives a moment of silence, remembrance and gratitude. It's a day we all stop for a moment and thank God for the life we have been given. It's a day we are truly grateful for second chances. September 11th is a day that everyone is kind to one another and values their simple life. September 11th is the day out of the year that hatred no longer exists. It's a quiet day. Heartache is inevitable but it is also a day that brings peace, hope, wonder and silence. September 11th was by far the ugliest day that has ever existed on American soil, but it has brought strength and unity to a country that sometimes takes all that for granted. Our September 11 angels will never be forgotten as they have left all of us Americans the truest definition of love, life, strength and courage.
Don't let September 11th be the only day out of the year to be truly grateful for the little moments. I challenge all to be a little kinder to the every day stranger. Smile and say good morning to the person walking beside you. Thank a service member for the sacrifice they make for YOU. Buy a coffee for a total stranger. Compliment your loved one. Thank a friend for always listening. Enjoy the ability to take a walk...to come and go as you please.
Your life may not be perfect. Times may be tough. Health could be stronger. You might be a few dollars short this month. You might have hopes and dreams that seem out of reach. Your heart might be broken. Your faith may be shaken. Regardless of what you're going through, you're still standing. You've been blessed with another day to live freely and breathe the deepest of breaths.
There are simple gestures we can all do to make our world a little kinder. Thousands of Americans were robbed of their lives and we owe it to them to be thankful and grateful on all days, not just September 11th. September 11th is a day for remembrance. All other days are simply a gift. We are not owed tomorrow and next year is never a guarantee.
September 11th, never forget, always remember.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Dear Olivia...
Dear Olivia,
Today is your first day of 3 year old Preschool. Who said you could get so big???
Mommy and Daddy just dropped you off at your new big girl school. You took the hand of a teacher and walked into the school with your head up. Not a single tear. As for your parents...neither of us left with a dry eye. Me personally, my heart hurts. I've been preparing myself for a year now that this day would be coming, but not once did I ever imagine that it would get here so fast.
It feels like just yesterday I was standing in line at the grocery store trying to calm you as you were crying your little head off. Trying to balance a cart full or groceries and a hysterically hungry two month old made me feel like a stunt devil trying to accomplish the impossible. It was just then that the lady in front of us looked at me with a little chuckle and said, "It gets easier and it goes by in a flash. Take it in." I'll never forget those words. As hard as it was that day in the grocery store I remember thinking, "well I hope it doesn't go too fast..."
And here we are, 3 years later. Growing up I always measured a year by how many more months it would take for another birthday of my own. We all know your Mom loves a good birthday party. And though I take pride in throwing your little birthday parties, it pains me to see another year in the books. If time could just slow down a smidge...that's my biggest wish these days.
It's no secret, your Dad and I worked real hard to get you. We prayed, struggled, and cried many a night until the day you were born. You were and are worth every ounce of pain we ever endured. You define the meaning of life. Having you as our child has brought so much joy into our lives. We are grateful for you. We have made it a point to take in every single memory we have created for you. We try going above and beyond so you know how special you are. I hope you know how much you are loved.
This past winter I researched the best of the best schools for our little Olivia. I looked up reviews, I heard recommendations and I spoke with schools and had them tell me why they were "the best". I interviewed them, they didn't interview me. I thought long and hard about what school you would go to. This was a big deal for us because you've never spent a day in daycare and have never spent a moment without a family member looking after you, keeping you safe.
Your Dad and I went to the orientation of your new big girl school and immediately fell in love. Walking in we had our guard up. We needed to feel comfortable with our decision and leaving that day we had no doubt that you would be safe and happy. We both said that we had to make the most of the coming months. We needed to keep you little for as long as we could.
Last night was hard for me (your Dad has been crying for days). I prayed that you would love school and that they would teach you great things while keeping you safe. The thought of dropping off my 3 year old didn't sit well with me. I kept toying with the idea of perhaps waiting another year- or how about home school!? But no, this is what's best for you. This is your time to fly.
Olivia...I hope you love it. I hope you love the school we picked for you. I hope you love your teacher and all of the friends you are about to meet. You're shy just like your Mama. I hope you come out of your little shell and show the world how special you are. I hope you dream the biggest dream. There is no impossible for you, the possibilities are endless. I hope you love to learn. I hope you learn to tackle any challenge that comes your way. From the day you were born we have always wanted the best for you. I hope you want the best for yourself too.
You are going to do great. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. I am constantly talking about you and bragging to family and friends. I'll do this for the rest of my life because you make me so proud. Your kindness shines through your face. I bet you're going to come home today with a dozen friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with my Olivia!?
As for us (Mommy and Daddy)- we'll be ok. No matter how big you are, no matter how old you are, you will always be our baby. Just promise you won't get too big too fast. It will still be cool watching Frozen and Mickey Clubhouse with your parents on a Saturday night when you're 16. Right?
Dream big, Olivia Hope. The world is in the palm of your hands.
I love you, my little Lulu. I'll see you when the dismissal bell rings (in 64 minutes).
Love,
Mommy
PS- Your Daddy chose the white milk. I would have picked chocolate.
Olivia did great!!
Her parents, not so much...
Today is your first day of 3 year old Preschool. Who said you could get so big???
Mommy and Daddy just dropped you off at your new big girl school. You took the hand of a teacher and walked into the school with your head up. Not a single tear. As for your parents...neither of us left with a dry eye. Me personally, my heart hurts. I've been preparing myself for a year now that this day would be coming, but not once did I ever imagine that it would get here so fast.
It feels like just yesterday I was standing in line at the grocery store trying to calm you as you were crying your little head off. Trying to balance a cart full or groceries and a hysterically hungry two month old made me feel like a stunt devil trying to accomplish the impossible. It was just then that the lady in front of us looked at me with a little chuckle and said, "It gets easier and it goes by in a flash. Take it in." I'll never forget those words. As hard as it was that day in the grocery store I remember thinking, "well I hope it doesn't go too fast..."
And here we are, 3 years later. Growing up I always measured a year by how many more months it would take for another birthday of my own. We all know your Mom loves a good birthday party. And though I take pride in throwing your little birthday parties, it pains me to see another year in the books. If time could just slow down a smidge...that's my biggest wish these days.
It's no secret, your Dad and I worked real hard to get you. We prayed, struggled, and cried many a night until the day you were born. You were and are worth every ounce of pain we ever endured. You define the meaning of life. Having you as our child has brought so much joy into our lives. We are grateful for you. We have made it a point to take in every single memory we have created for you. We try going above and beyond so you know how special you are. I hope you know how much you are loved.
This past winter I researched the best of the best schools for our little Olivia. I looked up reviews, I heard recommendations and I spoke with schools and had them tell me why they were "the best". I interviewed them, they didn't interview me. I thought long and hard about what school you would go to. This was a big deal for us because you've never spent a day in daycare and have never spent a moment without a family member looking after you, keeping you safe.
Your Dad and I went to the orientation of your new big girl school and immediately fell in love. Walking in we had our guard up. We needed to feel comfortable with our decision and leaving that day we had no doubt that you would be safe and happy. We both said that we had to make the most of the coming months. We needed to keep you little for as long as we could.
Last night was hard for me (your Dad has been crying for days). I prayed that you would love school and that they would teach you great things while keeping you safe. The thought of dropping off my 3 year old didn't sit well with me. I kept toying with the idea of perhaps waiting another year- or how about home school!? But no, this is what's best for you. This is your time to fly.
Olivia...I hope you love it. I hope you love the school we picked for you. I hope you love your teacher and all of the friends you are about to meet. You're shy just like your Mama. I hope you come out of your little shell and show the world how special you are. I hope you dream the biggest dream. There is no impossible for you, the possibilities are endless. I hope you love to learn. I hope you learn to tackle any challenge that comes your way. From the day you were born we have always wanted the best for you. I hope you want the best for yourself too.
You are going to do great. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. I am constantly talking about you and bragging to family and friends. I'll do this for the rest of my life because you make me so proud. Your kindness shines through your face. I bet you're going to come home today with a dozen friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with my Olivia!?
As for us (Mommy and Daddy)- we'll be ok. No matter how big you are, no matter how old you are, you will always be our baby. Just promise you won't get too big too fast. It will still be cool watching Frozen and Mickey Clubhouse with your parents on a Saturday night when you're 16. Right?
Dream big, Olivia Hope. The world is in the palm of your hands.
I love you, my little Lulu. I'll see you when the dismissal bell rings (in 64 minutes).
Love,
Mommy
PS- Your Daddy chose the white milk. I would have picked chocolate.
Olivia did great!!
Her parents, not so much...
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